Tag Archives: Time

Mixed Excitement

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I have the tendency to get excited by the littlest hint that better opportunities may be coming.  And it’s happening again.  I work as a temporary employee for an extremely well-known international corporation in my town.  I love the people I work with/for, and I’m good, if not great at my job.  However, the pay is lacking.  With student loans, rent, car payment and insurance, utilities, food, gas, etc. to pay for, there’s nothing left at the end of the month.  But…

“So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.” ~1 Timothy 6:8

And Dave and I try to be content.  We really try.  We get excited when we’re able to make a delicious meal out of ingredients already in the house.  Would a $10 trip to Kroger kill us?  No.  However, $10 saved is…  $10 saved, haha.

Anyway…

I’ve interviewed for no less than 5 full-time, permanent positions with the company I work for.  Unfortunately, with a number of graduating college students, other temporary employees, and an entire outside job-applicant pool, I’ve struck out on each one.  At my post-interview reviews, I was always told, “We thought it was a great interview, you just didn’t show enough company name examples in your experience questions.”  I would always reply, “I won’t give up!  You’ll see me again!”  And they did.

Two days after the miscarriage/D&C, and two days before our wedding, I trudged into the office, on my day off, to interview for another two open positions.  I felt I did good, however with the pain I was in I just wanted to come in, interview, and go back home to bed.

Yesterday, over a month later, I received a follow-up email from corporate HR, which is located across the country.  They want references and a salary expectation.  Is it acceptable for me to get excited?

On a side note, my work load is VERY full.  My planner is filled with items needing to be completed, and I get frustrated when, at the end of the day, I’ve checked only one or two off.  It’s not that I’m not working, however, that keeps me from completing items.  It’s my boss with a seemingly endless box full of random supposedly-“small”-tasks specifically meant for me.  While analyzing how I can achieve more checks in my planner each day, I realized that if anyone gets me started I can be quite a chatterbox.  To keep on track, I put a spot in my planner to keep track of my chat breaks.  Since then, I’ve also been listening to my headphones (slacker.com), which also deters my chatty co-workers from distracting me.  My chat sessions have DRASTICALLY decreased.  Yesterday, for example, I had none. 

A closing thought…

“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” ~Colossians 3:23

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Daily Chore Avoidance

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Like our boys, I continue to struggle with my daily chores. 

  • Right now in the middle of the living room I know I have three overflowing baskets of CLEAN laundry to fold. 
  • My budget/check book is a month behind.
  • My dresser top has a stack of (my) CLEAN laundry on top to be put away
  • The bottom drawer of my desk is a mess of bills and paperwork that need to be filed
  • My bookshelf is a wreck, and I’m not even reading paper-based books!
  • My closet…  whoo…  I won’t even describe that mess…

And on top of my daily chores are all those one-time projects that if I could just get them done once, I would never have to look at them again. 

But for some reason, I avoid them.  I avoid my chores as though they were the black plague.  But avoidance is infectious.  It spreads around my brain and body, wreaking havoc on all it touches.  The guilt of not doing what I should be eats away at my gut, making me think about my chores while I am at work.  My brain sends out repetitive reminders of what I should have done last night, exhausting my mind.  By the end of the work day, I’m tired of thinking about what I need to do, and am more interested in relaxing…  Again. 

And the cycle begins again, as though I started a dose of antibiotics, but never finished it.  The plague lives on.

I think I need to break into my bookshelf and call upon my backup support.  The Flylady.  If you’ve never heard of The Flylady, and you are struggling with organization and keeping your house clean, I strongly urge you to check out this free website and program.  While I don’t agree with all aspects of the program (ex. wearing my shoes in the house), most of the other topics helped me tremendously when I did the program years ago. 

I must say, however, that despite MY struggles with organization and chores, Dave keeps our house clean and presentable.  Despite the laundry baskets in the middle of the living room, I would not be embarrassed if someone knocked on our door unexpectedly.  (Thank you, baby!)  I just don’t like my avoidance.  I want to go to sleep having done all I could for the day, including having time to relax with the boys and Dave.

Just a thought…

How much easier our work would be if we put forth as much effort trying to improve the quality of it as most of us do tryign to find excuses for not properly attending to it.”  ~George W. Ballenger

Time Flies and Life Changes

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I can hardly believe it has been over a month since I last wrote.  At first nausea and pure exhaustion were hindering my will and desire to write.  Then we got busy with wedding planning and last…  Well, I’ll get to that.

I’ll share the positive first.  Dave and I were married this past Saturday, March 31.  Our small ceremony at home turned into a bit larger celebration at a reception hall during the planning process, and we had about 70 people attend.  It was a beautiful day that will be remembered by us both for the rest of our lives.

Dave and I on our wedding day

We both had to get back to work Monday morning, and I was asked numerous times if I had been drunk the whole day of the wedding.  While I can’t deny that I had my share of drinks at the reception, at no point was I intoxicated.  I was just intoxingly happy.  And so was Dave.  And it was WONDERFUL.If you’ve read previous posts, I’ve probably got you concerned right now, thinking something like…  “WHAT!?  She’s pregnant and she was DRINKING!?!”  Unfortunately, that was another change since the last time I posted.

In mid-March, Dave and I went to the OB-GYN for our eight-week ultrasound.  We were incredibly excited to see our baby, hear its heartbeat, and know it was healthy.  Unfortunately, God has/had other plans for us.  While the ultrasound tech found the sac, it was empty.  I had what is referred to as a blighted ovum.  What it means basically is that the sperm and egg did not fully do what they were supposed to do, and the pregnancy terminated itself early on.  While the embryo did not develop, the sac continued to grow, causing my hormone levels to go up and all the pregnancy symptoms to show themselves.  Without the ultrasound there was no way for even the doctor to know that the pregnancy wasn’t a good one.

We had a double-check ultra sound a week later, and that ultrasound showed the same thing.  With just over a week left before the wedding, we had a difficult decision to make.  Did we wait for my body to realize there was nothing there?  Or did we get a D&C and remove the risk of miscarrying on our wedding day?  We decided to go with the D&C.  So, with five days left until the wedding, I had a D&C last Tuesday.  Dave has been incredibly supportive, and despite the pain we both felt (emotionally for both of us and physically for me), our love and committment to each other has remained as strong as it was before, if not stronger.

Following the D&C, it was the doctor’s recommendation that I proceed with the LEEP procedure as soon as possible.  This upcoming Monday the pre-cancerous cells will be removed from my cervix, hopefully for good. 

I have said it before, however I can’t remember if it was before or after I moved my blog to WordPress, and I’ll say it again, that it is important for EVERY woman to visit her gynocologist regularly, if for no other reason than for her yearly PAP smear.  Women, please read and follow my advice.  If you don’t have an appointment scheduled for your yearly exam, make one.  Now.  You owe it to yourself and all the people who love you.

36 Days to Go…

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And I’m just now finalizing the wedding invitations.  No, I didn’t procrastinate.  And I definitely don’t have cold feet.  But these things are kicking my creative butt!

First I tried to design my own version of this invite using Photoshop.  Yes, I borrowed a design.  At $4 a pop for these invites because there are such a small quantity being ordered,  I/we couldn’t justify the expense.  I thought I could make my own version and get them printed at Walmart on photo paper.  When I uploaded the “picture” to Walmart’s site, however, it warned me that the resolution was too low.  I ordered one anyway, but without even picking it up (yet) I decided I better look for another option.




I think I found one.

This design, found at Snapfish.com is both affordable and quirky, like us.  The only hesitation I have is that my best childhood friend has a thing about photo booths with her husband, and they had a photo booth theme on their Save the Dates two (or three?) years ago.  Hopefully she won’t mind my borrowing from her.

Finding pictures to use has been difficult.  With all the pictures we take, we have surprisingly few of the two of us together.  In the next year we’re going to have to be sure to take many more of us together.  The people in the pictures to the left ARE us.



The bottom of my wedding dress...

Did I mention I knit my wedding dress?  It only took a month…  If you take a look at my profile picture (for the moment) I’m wearing it there.  Or…  You can wait for a post after March 31 to see me in it on our wedding day!

Watching the Time

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While at work, I try desparately hard to not look at the time.  I don’t wear a watch, and my cell phone sits on my desk in silent mode until my work day is over.

But as hard as I try not to look at the time, time is constantly looking at me.  I swear, the clocks surrounding me have eyes.  They glare at me, and I feel the heat of their presence daring me to look back at them.Image

The clock on my computer gets more attention than any other.  I made it through the first two paragraphs without looking at the clock on my monitor, and then the clock on my phone grabbed me.  Damn it.  1:17pm.  2 hours and 43 minutes until sanity.  (Or…  163MTS)

I’ve owned two non-plastic watches in my (almost) 33 years.

The first, a Joe Boxer watch, was bought for me by my Aunt right before I entered college, nearly 15 years ago.  (Wow…  Time flies!)  It had a rooster that spun around, or perhaps a chicken, and I believe there was a fried egg marking the 12.  Unfortunately I couldn’t find an image when I did a search for it.

The second, a nice Kenneth Cole watch, was my Christmas present from my ex-husband 10 years ago, right before we found out we were pregnant with our first.  I still have that watch, however the extra links we took out (because at that time I had skinny wrists) are now in his possession.

Ha!  Desk-phone clock, you nearly drew me all the way in!  I was able to avert my eyes just before you had me!

Even at home Dave and I tend to look at the time more often than we probably should.  (Damn desk phone got me…  1:34…)  Anyway, we look less than we did when we had cable, but…  Why are we looking?  Yes, there reaches a point when we’re tired and we know we need to get to bed soon if we’re going to get enough rest for the next day.  But where does the obsession with time come from?  Why do we let time consume us, rather than enjoying every second for what it is?

144MTS

If anyone knows a way to turn the ability to see the clock on a PC monitor off, please let me know.

Pregnant Pet Peeve #2 – The Supposed Value of MY Time

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I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there…  We have a doctor’s appointment on our calendar so we drop whatever we’re doing at a certain time to ensure we arrive on time, if not early. 

And then we arrive…

One step into the waiting room and we mutter, “Oh, shit” to ourselves.

The room is packed.  Yes, there are empy chairs, but they are the ones inbetween two people, who are most likely spilling off their own chair onto the empty one.

http://lyn-lifepixels.blogspot.com/2010/05/waiting-room.html

Then comes my favorite part.  The wait.  You were there 5-10 minutes early, and then you sit in the waiting room for 20-30 minutes.  Or, better yet, they put you in a patient room right away, without any magazines, and you sit there for 45-90 minutes.  Just when your eye lids drop and you drift into a pleasant dream about being anywhere besides the doctor’s office, the doctor walks in and asks, “Are you tired?” 

No, dummy…  You may make $100K+ per year and hold a doctorate, but you’re STUPID!  I’m not tired, I’m bored and pissed off!

And then the doctor looks at me, asks two questions and is finished with his/her exam in 2-5 minutes.  TOPS.

What a crock.

So, Dear Doctors…

Why, if I’m more than 15 minutes late to my appointment do I get charged for the appointment AND have to reschedule, however you can keep me waiting for over an hour and I get no type of discount?  I’m here on my lunch break (supposedly), however my lunch is only supposed to be 30 minutes so now I’ve lost an hour of pay for the day.

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 Apparently your time is worth $100’s per hour, and mine is worth…  well…  nothing…