Tag Archives: Pregnancy

TWINS?!

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Wow…

Wow, wow, WOW. A week later, and I’m still reeling in the shock. Little Nevaeh is going to be a big sister in 7 months… or less. And not just that, but she will be a big sister to TWINS!

We’ve all heard that God won’t give us more than we can handle, but He sure does have a sense of humor! Nevaeh will be about 16 months when the twins are born. Just shy of 10 months she took her first steps this week, and Momma (me) has taken a few sprints for the bathroom due to morning sickness. Well, let me be honest here. It’s not morning sickness. It’s all-freaking-day-sickness.

Almost all my once favorite smells and snacks are having adverse reactions on me. The delicious smell of my husband’s after-shave lotion is… No longer my favorite. And “The best part of waking up…” is no longer the smell of Folgers in my cup. To put it gently, if I could walk around the kitchen to get to the office I would.

Our clients have been INCREDIBLE. I did not want to say anything to anybody about the pregnancy until we were further along, however I/we knew we had to say something considering how nauseous I have been. Continually telling the clients, “I’m not feeling good” wouldn’t have instilled confidence in my skills. And just as it has been in Dave and my marriage, honesty with our clients has been 100% beneficial.

Dave has been amazing, as he always has been. Some days I fear a lonely wife will kidnap him in order to have the dream I have. I was wondering last night (again), if we could go back four years and tell our former selves what is happening in our present day lives, what would our past selves do? Getting married to each other and having A baby wouldn’t have scared them… I don’t think. Having twins? I don’t know.

The boys are excited(?) about the twins, however Robert keeps asking “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

How can I answer him? I’m not going to lie and say, “Yes!” but at the same time I’m not going to say, “No.” either. God has our back, and even if I’m not currently prepared I know I will handle, WE will handle, whatever comes our way.

Honestly, I think Robert is most excited that we are inevitably going to have to buy a bigger vehicle. Telling him and Jacob that we were going to strap two seats to the top of our Chevy Cobalt didn’t go over too well. On that note…

Dear Honda – please let us know if you have a special program for parents interested in an Odyssey or Pilot. We’ll need ALL 8 seats. Thank you!

It’s All About Perspective

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MTHFR.  No, I’m not trying to curse, although I’ll admit that mother ****er has slipped from my mouth on more than one occasion.

MTHFR, unheard of by me until a week and a half ago now takes on a new, unpronouncable meaning:  Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase.  I have it.

At the end of July Dave and I found out we were pregnant again.  After having our first two pregnancies end in miscarriage earlier this year, we chose to keep this one relatively quiet.  Weeks of all-day morning sickness passed, and in mid-August we were able to see a very small baby at our first ultrasound.  We were elated!  This was more than we had ever seen with the other two, and although they couldn’t hear the heartbeat (the technician said it was too early) we had scheduled another ultrasound for two weeks later.

Unfortunately, God had other plans for us again.  Within a week of the ultrasound I started spotting, and on September 4, we had our third miscarriage at 12 weeks.

Dave and I were exhausted.  We are blessed to each already have children whom we love with everything we’ve got.  With that said, however, we would love to have a child together, a child who can bask in our love and enjoy a life where mom and dad love each other and will share the rest of their lives with each other.  No split custody, no hard decisions to make on holidays, no absentee parent.  We decided to give our emotions and my body a break and cease trying for a bit, however before my doctor would put me on birth control he wanted to run blood tests to see if there was a root cause for the miscarriages.

So, three weeks ago I had 24 vials of blood taken.  24.  And the results came in positive except for one test which showed I have the MTHFR gene mutation.  I looked it up on the internet (and honestly still don’t totally understand what I’m reading), and basically it means that my body isn’t absorbing folate.  With folic acid so crucially important to a developing fetus, this isn’t good.

This Monday Dave and I went to my hematologist appointment.  For me especially, the time waiting in the reception area shared by oncology put everything in perspective.  Here we were, fretting over why we couldn’t keep a pregnancy, and we were surrounded by patients in all stages of cancer treatment.  Bandanas covered their heads, sores  were hidden by bandages, and the wear and tear of chemo was written all over so many of their faces.  I felt suddenly…  Fortunate…

While we may not be getting what we want, Dave and I aren’t being dealt what we don’t want.  We’re healthy.  Our children are healthy.  We’ve got a roof over our heads, food in our cabinets, and a job to pay the bills.  Dave’s college education is very successfully underway and courtesy of the U.S. military/government, and our cars are running.

And our house is full of love.  Lots of love.

So while I may want to have a child with Dave, I don’t need anything.  I am blessed with everything I need to live a happy, peaceful life.  For that I must remember to thank God each and every day.  He will give us what we need, when the time is right.

“Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.” ~Psalm 37:7

Are We in the 47 Percent?

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I normally ignore politics.  I followed the Obama campaign four years ago because I thought he would be good for America, but ever since then, my following has been just about non-existant.  Well, until the last couple weeks that is.

Dave and I have been working on a couple (BIG) projects and in effort to get our name out I’ve been working on developing a presence in social media.  Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Twitter, we’re on them all.  Twitter has been my primary concentration, however, because I’m realizing that in order to build a presence over there, you have to be consistently active.  As such, Twitter has become my news source.

Although not always the most reliable source for the latest news story, I was looking through the posts of those I follow when the video of Romney and his 47 Percent leaked.  Having just come back from laughing my butt off when hearing his interpretation of “middle class” income, my jaw dropped.  I HAD to watch the video.

In case you missed it, you can either click above or read what he said:

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax.

Again, my jaw dropped.

When I left my ex-husband, I was unemployed.  Feeling it was necessary to get my sons and I into a safer environment, I looked to the state for public assistance.  Did I expect help?  No.  But I was EXTREMELY appreciative when I received it.

In order to qualify for Ohio’s Cash Assistance program, I needed to be actively looking for a job or be employed.  Let me preface this by saying that it was not my choice to be unemployed.  I am a college graduate with my bachelor’s in interior architecture.  I am an artist, or at least I would like to believe I am.  Two years prior to leaving my ex I lost my job.  While I tried to secure another job in the industry, finding an interior design job in the midwest was, and still is, like finding a needle in a haystack.  I applied at gas stations, fast food restaurants and local stores.  For TWO years I applied to all of these places just so I could contribute to my household.  The response I got was always somewhere along the line of, “You’re overqualified,” or “We don’t want to put time into training you when you’re just going to move on to something better.”

Finding a job after moving out turned out to be a whole lot of luck.  I was in the right place at the right time with the right person, when I secured my first job in more than two years.  But I didn’t get a job because somebody was telling me to.  I was doing it because that’s what I needed to do for the boys and I.  I didn’t believe anybody owed my a job.  I simply hoped somebody would give me a chance.

Every Friday morning, recipients of the cash assistance program were required (I’m not receiving the assistance anymore so I don’t know if it’s still the same) to attend an open interview session at our local job office.  Upon hearing about this I was excited.  I thought it would be my chance to get a job.  I was wrong.  Walking into the office, I was visably one of the very few attendees who cared about getting a job and getting off the program.  First, I had bathed.  My hair and teeth were brushed.  And I had worn a suit.  Looking around, I was surrounded by unkempt people wearing pajamas and sweat pants who looked as though they hadn’t showered all week.  I was flabbergasted.

But it got worse.  The employers, knowing this is how people were approaching the mandatory open interviews, had stopped attending.  There was ONE employer there, a gas station, and they were looking for somebody to work third shift.  As badly as I needed a job, I couldn’t work third shift with the boys.

I’m digressing, so I’ll get back to my point…

I work full-time now and Dave is in college full-time.  The cash assistance and food stamps are long expired, and yes, we struggle.  But no, we don’t believe the government “owes” us.  I don’t EXPECT them to give me housing, healthcare and education.  I didn’t even apply for housing assistance when I left my ex.  What I do expect, however, is that all Americans be given the same opportunities for equal care.

I have been employed by the same company for the last 17 months and have been a great employee.  I get my job done and don’t create drama at the office.  I get paid every week and pay for health insurance out of my paycheck.  I repeat, I pay for health insurance.  With that said, paying for health insurance doesn’t provide me with the same benefits as somebody receiving public assistance.  Example: Dave and I found out we miscarried earlier this year and I had a D&C shortly thereafter.  A month later the bill came in the mail.  We owed $8500.  Out of the $9000 bill, our insurance had covered approximately $500.  Does this sound right to you?

When I had the boys 7 and 10 years ago, the entire pre- and post- natal bills for each boy equaled $500.  This included monthly-turned-weekly check-ups as well as delivery and the hospital stay.  For the youngest, it also included an extra week in the hospital for me when he tried to come two months early.

Following our miscarriage earlier this year, Dave and I had two more (miscarriages).  During the third pregnancy, I found out that women who met specific (low) income guidelines could apply for pregnancy health care through the state.  While I didn’t want to apply, I did.  With a bill of $8500 from an out-patient procedure, it scared us to think what the labor and delivery would cost.  Would we be shelling out the cost of a full-year college tuition to welcome this miracle into our life?  Bah!  When I started miscarrying the third time, however, the fear of cost played into my health decisions.  I went through three days of excrutiating pain and dizziness before finally going to the ER.  That bill has yet to come, and I’m sure it’s not going to be pretty.

I can’t say who I’m going to vote for, however I can say that I don’t like being generalized.  Dave and I DO take personal accountability and responsibility for our lives.  Can we always pay the bills we have?  No.  But we’re not applying for assistance we don’t need.

People Say the Darndest Things

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Forget kids.  People of all ages say ridiculous things.  Tactless sentences come out of people’s mouths and my eyes explode open with the weight of my jaw dropping, unable to say, “Really!?”

Here’s the last two days…

1.  “When is the baby due?”  This not only happened to me, but also to a co-worker friend of mine.  Undeniably we’ve both gained weight.  Unfortunately for her, she hasn’t been pregnant in four years.  Unfortunately for me I’ve lost two pregnancies this year.  But those last two sentences are irrelevant.  Why do people ask “When are you due?” if the person they’re asking clearly does NOT have a baby bump?

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This is not my belly, but if there’s any question of whether my belly looks like this or if it’s actually housing a baby, don’t ask me when the baby is due!

2.  “Geez, he’s gained a lot of weight.”  Some people are blatantly rude on Facebook, and I let this person know I didn’t appreciate the comment even though it wasn’t about me.  Tact, people.  Tact.  Actually, I’ll make it even easier for you: Don’t tag me or my non-Facebooking-family I approve the pictures.  Better yet, don’t post the pictures until I approve them.  If you’ve got pictures of me, I’m sure I’ve got pictures of you.

3.  This one’s my favorite…  “Those look like poor people pants.  Did you buy them at Goodwill?”  It wasn’t geared toward me or my family, but unfortunately the statement and question came out of Thing 1’s mouth.  Yes, my nine-year-old son asked our friend’s girlfriend if she had bought her $50 jeans at Goodwill.  Surely you’ve seen the kind with the rips built-in.  And I won’t deny that I’ve wondered why people would spend so much money on clothes with holes in them.  But geez, son!  Didn’t I teach you to be polite?

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Dear Unborn Daughter (that I’m not pregnant with)…  When I give you $50 for clothes, do NOT come home with a pair of ripped jeans or you’ll be paying me for the gas we use to go return them.  XOXO, Mom

Time Flies and Life Changes

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I can hardly believe it has been over a month since I last wrote.  At first nausea and pure exhaustion were hindering my will and desire to write.  Then we got busy with wedding planning and last…  Well, I’ll get to that.

I’ll share the positive first.  Dave and I were married this past Saturday, March 31.  Our small ceremony at home turned into a bit larger celebration at a reception hall during the planning process, and we had about 70 people attend.  It was a beautiful day that will be remembered by us both for the rest of our lives.

Dave and I on our wedding day

We both had to get back to work Monday morning, and I was asked numerous times if I had been drunk the whole day of the wedding.  While I can’t deny that I had my share of drinks at the reception, at no point was I intoxicated.  I was just intoxingly happy.  And so was Dave.  And it was WONDERFUL.If you’ve read previous posts, I’ve probably got you concerned right now, thinking something like…  “WHAT!?  She’s pregnant and she was DRINKING!?!”  Unfortunately, that was another change since the last time I posted.

In mid-March, Dave and I went to the OB-GYN for our eight-week ultrasound.  We were incredibly excited to see our baby, hear its heartbeat, and know it was healthy.  Unfortunately, God has/had other plans for us.  While the ultrasound tech found the sac, it was empty.  I had what is referred to as a blighted ovum.  What it means basically is that the sperm and egg did not fully do what they were supposed to do, and the pregnancy terminated itself early on.  While the embryo did not develop, the sac continued to grow, causing my hormone levels to go up and all the pregnancy symptoms to show themselves.  Without the ultrasound there was no way for even the doctor to know that the pregnancy wasn’t a good one.

We had a double-check ultra sound a week later, and that ultrasound showed the same thing.  With just over a week left before the wedding, we had a difficult decision to make.  Did we wait for my body to realize there was nothing there?  Or did we get a D&C and remove the risk of miscarrying on our wedding day?  We decided to go with the D&C.  So, with five days left until the wedding, I had a D&C last Tuesday.  Dave has been incredibly supportive, and despite the pain we both felt (emotionally for both of us and physically for me), our love and committment to each other has remained as strong as it was before, if not stronger.

Following the D&C, it was the doctor’s recommendation that I proceed with the LEEP procedure as soon as possible.  This upcoming Monday the pre-cancerous cells will be removed from my cervix, hopefully for good. 

I have said it before, however I can’t remember if it was before or after I moved my blog to WordPress, and I’ll say it again, that it is important for EVERY woman to visit her gynocologist regularly, if for no other reason than for her yearly PAP smear.  Women, please read and follow my advice.  If you don’t have an appointment scheduled for your yearly exam, make one.  Now.  You owe it to yourself and all the people who love you.

Doubles

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Dave and I were discussing earlier this week how this pregnancy has moved on extremely fast.  Before I even knew I was pregnant the extreme fatigue kicked in, and the nausea and food aversions soon followed. We joked that maybe it’s because there are twins in there.

Before I go any further, I must say that there is no concrete evidence of twins, nor is there a history of multiples on my side of the family or his.

When I called the OB/GYN to tell them I had tested positive on several home pregnancy tests, they told me to go (come?) in for bloodwork.  The HcG results came back at 28.3. Looking it up on the Internet afterwards, I found out that a result of 25 or above is considered positive, and 25 is usually the result one day later in the cycle than when my blood was taken.  HcG levels supposedly double every 48 hours or so, so the doctor requested another blood test.  The next test was 4 days later. The result was over 180.  Ummm…  28.3 x 2 = 56.6 x 2 = 113.2…  NOT 180! 

I received those results today (you can do the math if you wish).  Now the doctor wants me to go back tomorrow for another test. This one will be 72 hours later, so theoretically the results should be around 540.  (180 x 2 = 360 +180 = 540)  I guess time will tell the truth. However…

I wanted breakfast for dinner. Look what came out of one of the eggs Dave cracked…

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Double yolked egg! The first either of us has ever seen!

A Giant Leap for Womankind has taken a Giant Leap…

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… Over to WordPress that is. And honestly, I’m a bit frustrated because I had composed a post this morning, and published it (I thought) and now it’s gone. So now I have to re-write it and I really don’t want to.

What did I say?

First, with a month left until our wedding, and a supposed week left until my procedure to remove the pre-cancerous cells from my cervix, Dave and I found out last week that we are expecting! We are extremely excited, as are the boys, and are calling it “Boo” due to the promoxity of its due date to Halloween.

Honestly, I had a lot more to say in my post earlier today, but the agitation caused by relocating my blog (Blogger wanted me to use Google Chrome and I don’t feel like changing something I’m completely comfortable with) and then my very first post being deleted, just irks me. So with that, I leave this post.