Tag Archives: God

Dandelion Wine

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So much has happened since I last posted on here! I’m currently sitting in my office, attached to the home Dave and I bought, staring into a backyard filled with dandelions. And the only title I could think of for this post was… Dandelion Wine.

I’ve never even had dandelion wine but… eh, it’s my blog and I can title my posts whatever I want, right?

Behind me a beautiful eight month old baby is attempting to get herself into the toy box, and I’m waiting for the cry of distress when she realizes she can’t get herself back out.

At the time of the last post she was only a figment of our imagination. Having already experienced 4 miscarriages in 2012 we never imagined she would be a reality. But then again, most of what’s happened in the last year is a figment of our imagination. We’re now homeowners, business owners, and parents of an infant… Again.

I swear, being the mom of an infant when you’re in your 30’s is much different than being one in your 20’s, especially when you have other children to run around all over the county. I used to think Robert (now 8) had magical powers enabling him to suck any excess energy out of me. I no longer believe that, however the bed has become quite good at pulling me in, even when I only sit down to change into comfortable clothes.

So yea, Dave and I are business owners. At the time of the last post we were thinking it would be awesome if the little side-endeavor we had started would turn into a full-time gig. Little did we know what within two weeks of that post I would be giving my notice at my job and by January would be working at home full-time with more than a full-time workload.

Today business is awesome. God is good and has provided us with clients we love, and even some we don’t. What we’re learning though is that it’s how we handle ourselves with the less-than-pleasant clients that determines our success into the future. (You’d be amazed by how one client told us God led her to us and then she turned around and told lies and refused to pay! What can we do? Be respectful, not post her name on here – as much as we would love to – and keep going)

So Dandelion Wine… All I know is that I could get ridiculously drunk if I made dandelion wine using the crop in my backyard, but for today, this year and this decade I have more than enough work to do to consider that. A beautiful baby needs my love, and clients need time.

The latter can wait until the first is done. Love always comes first.

XOXO

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It’s All About Perspective

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MTHFR.  No, I’m not trying to curse, although I’ll admit that mother ****er has slipped from my mouth on more than one occasion.

MTHFR, unheard of by me until a week and a half ago now takes on a new, unpronouncable meaning:  Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase.  I have it.

At the end of July Dave and I found out we were pregnant again.  After having our first two pregnancies end in miscarriage earlier this year, we chose to keep this one relatively quiet.  Weeks of all-day morning sickness passed, and in mid-August we were able to see a very small baby at our first ultrasound.  We were elated!  This was more than we had ever seen with the other two, and although they couldn’t hear the heartbeat (the technician said it was too early) we had scheduled another ultrasound for two weeks later.

Unfortunately, God had other plans for us again.  Within a week of the ultrasound I started spotting, and on September 4, we had our third miscarriage at 12 weeks.

Dave and I were exhausted.  We are blessed to each already have children whom we love with everything we’ve got.  With that said, however, we would love to have a child together, a child who can bask in our love and enjoy a life where mom and dad love each other and will share the rest of their lives with each other.  No split custody, no hard decisions to make on holidays, no absentee parent.  We decided to give our emotions and my body a break and cease trying for a bit, however before my doctor would put me on birth control he wanted to run blood tests to see if there was a root cause for the miscarriages.

So, three weeks ago I had 24 vials of blood taken.  24.  And the results came in positive except for one test which showed I have the MTHFR gene mutation.  I looked it up on the internet (and honestly still don’t totally understand what I’m reading), and basically it means that my body isn’t absorbing folate.  With folic acid so crucially important to a developing fetus, this isn’t good.

This Monday Dave and I went to my hematologist appointment.  For me especially, the time waiting in the reception area shared by oncology put everything in perspective.  Here we were, fretting over why we couldn’t keep a pregnancy, and we were surrounded by patients in all stages of cancer treatment.  Bandanas covered their heads, sores  were hidden by bandages, and the wear and tear of chemo was written all over so many of their faces.  I felt suddenly…  Fortunate…

While we may not be getting what we want, Dave and I aren’t being dealt what we don’t want.  We’re healthy.  Our children are healthy.  We’ve got a roof over our heads, food in our cabinets, and a job to pay the bills.  Dave’s college education is very successfully underway and courtesy of the U.S. military/government, and our cars are running.

And our house is full of love.  Lots of love.

So while I may want to have a child with Dave, I don’t need anything.  I am blessed with everything I need to live a happy, peaceful life.  For that I must remember to thank God each and every day.  He will give us what we need, when the time is right.

“Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.” ~Psalm 37:7

Emotional Fleas

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I’m itchy this morning.  Seriously.  My neck, arms, face and chest are itching, and where I’m sitting there is no appropriate way to scratch it away without looking like the the crack-head character on The Chappelle Show. (itch)

My itching isn’t skin irritation, however.  It’s not an allergic reaction, Poison Ivy or Poison Oak either.  It’s emotional fleas, I’m sure of it.  (itch)

Emotional fleas are those people in my life who crawl under my skin and do their best to be a nuisance every second of my life.  (itch) Their sole mission is to remind me that yes, they are still in my life no matter how little I want them there.  Unfortunately Dave and I both have our own BIG, individual, emotional fleas in the form of exes, and they (the fleas) both decided to raid our peaceful nest at 7am this morning. (itch)

As much as we both wish we had never met our EF’s, we have to thank God for putting them in our lives, for without them we would never have met each other.  And without mine, I wouldn’t have two wonderful sons that I love with all my heart. 

I continue to struggle, however, with holding my tongue when he sends a barrage of harassing text messages and emails.  I want so badly to tell him exactly what I’m thinking.  However, the Jesus said, “The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” ~Mark 12:31  But oh, I am human.  And ohhhh, how I struggle with this.

Mixed Excitement

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I have the tendency to get excited by the littlest hint that better opportunities may be coming.  And it’s happening again.  I work as a temporary employee for an extremely well-known international corporation in my town.  I love the people I work with/for, and I’m good, if not great at my job.  However, the pay is lacking.  With student loans, rent, car payment and insurance, utilities, food, gas, etc. to pay for, there’s nothing left at the end of the month.  But…

“So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.” ~1 Timothy 6:8

And Dave and I try to be content.  We really try.  We get excited when we’re able to make a delicious meal out of ingredients already in the house.  Would a $10 trip to Kroger kill us?  No.  However, $10 saved is…  $10 saved, haha.

Anyway…

I’ve interviewed for no less than 5 full-time, permanent positions with the company I work for.  Unfortunately, with a number of graduating college students, other temporary employees, and an entire outside job-applicant pool, I’ve struck out on each one.  At my post-interview reviews, I was always told, “We thought it was a great interview, you just didn’t show enough company name examples in your experience questions.”  I would always reply, “I won’t give up!  You’ll see me again!”  And they did.

Two days after the miscarriage/D&C, and two days before our wedding, I trudged into the office, on my day off, to interview for another two open positions.  I felt I did good, however with the pain I was in I just wanted to come in, interview, and go back home to bed.

Yesterday, over a month later, I received a follow-up email from corporate HR, which is located across the country.  They want references and a salary expectation.  Is it acceptable for me to get excited?

On a side note, my work load is VERY full.  My planner is filled with items needing to be completed, and I get frustrated when, at the end of the day, I’ve checked only one or two off.  It’s not that I’m not working, however, that keeps me from completing items.  It’s my boss with a seemingly endless box full of random supposedly-“small”-tasks specifically meant for me.  While analyzing how I can achieve more checks in my planner each day, I realized that if anyone gets me started I can be quite a chatterbox.  To keep on track, I put a spot in my planner to keep track of my chat breaks.  Since then, I’ve also been listening to my headphones (slacker.com), which also deters my chatty co-workers from distracting me.  My chat sessions have DRASTICALLY decreased.  Yesterday, for example, I had none. 

A closing thought…

“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” ~Colossians 3:23

Things I Love Thursday, April 26, 2012

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I saw this on another blog and I had to do one myself…

Things I Love (especially this) Thursday

  • A quiet evening at home with hubby
  • Having the boys for the weekend
  • Seeing hubby learn and understand new things in school everyday
  • Posting THREE blog posts in one day!
  • Knowing tomorrow is Friday
  • Having a job I like, even if I wish I were paid more
  • Knowing God is with me, through thick and thin
  • Playing Rift with hubby after a long day
  • A glass of wine, poured by hubby (cough cough, the beer is next to me, only two sips drank out of it)
  • Staying up late with hubby, even though I’ll be tired tomorrow
  • My Kindle Fire, loaded with awesome books
  • Dave (aka hubby) caring enough about me to be interested in what I blog about
  • Sharing my blog, my heart and my soul with Dave
  • Epic Rap Battles of History on You Tube (especially Mr. T vs. Mr. Rogers)
  • Coming in 200 calories below my daily calorie recommendation on myfitnesspal.com
  • Hearing Dave laugh
  • Being happy
  • Being alive

Trying to Create with a Brain Freeze

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I wish I could say my brain freeze was due to a Slushy or Cherry Limeade. Unfortunately the “diet” I started yesterday through myfitnesspal.com only allows for 1200 calories per day.

Perhaps, my brain, like the rest of my life, is stretched thin.

My computer at work needed to be worked on this afternoon, and after straightening up my desk, I found myself with nothing to do. This is a rare event. In fact, it hadn’t happened since I started there a year ago. So,  I tried to come up with ideas for a fiction book.

Yea. That didn’t work so well. Everytime I try to write I wind up back in the non-fiction category. And I’m not sure I’m ready to write about what I want to write about. (That’s all I’ll say considering I DO want to write it…  Someday)

I long to be creative, however I have absolutely no idea what I want to do or how to get my creative juices flowing. Oh!   I put a beer in the freezers and forgot about it. Perhaps beer will help.

No, I’m not a regular drinker, nor do I put my faith in alcohol to solve any problem.  I have God for all things, good AND bad.   With that said, perhaps now is the time to pull up my Bible on my Kindle and look for inspiration.

I Wonder If You Know Him

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Initially I had reservations about posting this on my blog.  I worried about offending my non-Christian readers.  However, then I realized…  In following MY Christian Faith, I can’t be afraid about offending my Christian readers.  I need to share my beliefs, and hope that my message will touch someone who needs to be brought closer to, and hopefully into a relationship with, Jesus.

On the way to service, Dave and I were listening to K-Love as we usually do at home, in the car, and at work.  This reminded me to tell Dave about the K-Love NASCAR car.  Yes, I’m a NASCAR fan.  I have been since shortly after moving to Ohio eight years ago.  Anyway, it excites me that someone donated the funds to make a K-Love car possible. (See below)

I believe this car may sometimes also be the I Am Second car.   I heard about I Am Second earlier this year while reading a blog.  Written by her family, the blog tells readers about the recovery efforts surrounding Lauren Scruggs, a model and blogger who was seriously injured shortly before Christmas 2011 after walking into a set of active airplane propellers.

I am Second Wristbands

Lauren’s mom, Cheryl, praises Jesus in almost every post, and it was her mention of I Am Second that led me to the site.  Immediately after finding out what the site was about, I knew I had to support them.  Today, Dave and I both wear wristbands 24/7, and I am glad that I ordered six, as I have already turned mine over four times.  I think it’s time to order more.  I AM second.  God is first.

At service this morning, Pastor Nick discussed carrying our crosses.  It was a very strong message.  As a Christian we need to cast aside any parts of our lives, whether they be people, material objects, desires, etc. that lead us away from our Christianity.  We need to carry our cross, and carry it proudly.  We can’t hide our necklaces under our shirts, or be afraid to say “God Bless You”.

Before service started, our church’s media director showed us the commercial the church is preparing for its Easter service.  Ginghamsburg Church will be hosting a BIG unified church service at the University of Dayton’s Arena on Easter Sunday.  All of Dayton is invited.  I’m very excited.  I’m sure the electricity in the air will be phenomenal.

Here’s the commercial…


When I arrived home, I thought a video we shown at service months ago.  After a quick search on Youtube I found it.  I Wonder If You Know Him.