Category Archives: Love

Dandelion Wine

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So much has happened since I last posted on here! I’m currently sitting in my office, attached to the home Dave and I bought, staring into a backyard filled with dandelions. And the only title I could think of for this post was… Dandelion Wine.

I’ve never even had dandelion wine but… eh, it’s my blog and I can title my posts whatever I want, right?

Behind me a beautiful eight month old baby is attempting to get herself into the toy box, and I’m waiting for the cry of distress when she realizes she can’t get herself back out.

At the time of the last post she was only a figment of our imagination. Having already experienced 4 miscarriages in 2012 we never imagined she would be a reality. But then again, most of what’s happened in the last year is a figment of our imagination. We’re now homeowners, business owners, and parents of an infant… Again.

I swear, being the mom of an infant when you’re in your 30’s is much different than being one in your 20’s, especially when you have other children to run around all over the county. I used to think Robert (now 8) had magical powers enabling him to suck any excess energy out of me. I no longer believe that, however the bed has become quite good at pulling me in, even when I only sit down to change into comfortable clothes.

So yea, Dave and I are business owners. At the time of the last post we were thinking it would be awesome if the little side-endeavor we had started would turn into a full-time gig. Little did we know what within two weeks of that post I would be giving my notice at my job and by January would be working at home full-time with more than a full-time workload.

Today business is awesome. God is good and has provided us with clients we love, and even some we don’t. What we’re learning though is that it’s how we handle ourselves with the less-than-pleasant clients that determines our success into the future. (You’d be amazed by how one client told us God led her to us and then she turned around and told lies and refused to pay! What can we do? Be respectful, not post her name on here – as much as we would love to – and keep going)

So Dandelion Wine… All I know is that I could get ridiculously drunk if I made dandelion wine using the crop in my backyard, but for today, this year and this decade I have more than enough work to do to consider that. A beautiful baby needs my love, and clients need time.

The latter can wait until the first is done. Love always comes first.

XOXO

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It’s All About Perspective

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MTHFR.  No, I’m not trying to curse, although I’ll admit that mother ****er has slipped from my mouth on more than one occasion.

MTHFR, unheard of by me until a week and a half ago now takes on a new, unpronouncable meaning:  Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase.  I have it.

At the end of July Dave and I found out we were pregnant again.  After having our first two pregnancies end in miscarriage earlier this year, we chose to keep this one relatively quiet.  Weeks of all-day morning sickness passed, and in mid-August we were able to see a very small baby at our first ultrasound.  We were elated!  This was more than we had ever seen with the other two, and although they couldn’t hear the heartbeat (the technician said it was too early) we had scheduled another ultrasound for two weeks later.

Unfortunately, God had other plans for us again.  Within a week of the ultrasound I started spotting, and on September 4, we had our third miscarriage at 12 weeks.

Dave and I were exhausted.  We are blessed to each already have children whom we love with everything we’ve got.  With that said, however, we would love to have a child together, a child who can bask in our love and enjoy a life where mom and dad love each other and will share the rest of their lives with each other.  No split custody, no hard decisions to make on holidays, no absentee parent.  We decided to give our emotions and my body a break and cease trying for a bit, however before my doctor would put me on birth control he wanted to run blood tests to see if there was a root cause for the miscarriages.

So, three weeks ago I had 24 vials of blood taken.  24.  And the results came in positive except for one test which showed I have the MTHFR gene mutation.  I looked it up on the internet (and honestly still don’t totally understand what I’m reading), and basically it means that my body isn’t absorbing folate.  With folic acid so crucially important to a developing fetus, this isn’t good.

This Monday Dave and I went to my hematologist appointment.  For me especially, the time waiting in the reception area shared by oncology put everything in perspective.  Here we were, fretting over why we couldn’t keep a pregnancy, and we were surrounded by patients in all stages of cancer treatment.  Bandanas covered their heads, sores  were hidden by bandages, and the wear and tear of chemo was written all over so many of their faces.  I felt suddenly…  Fortunate…

While we may not be getting what we want, Dave and I aren’t being dealt what we don’t want.  We’re healthy.  Our children are healthy.  We’ve got a roof over our heads, food in our cabinets, and a job to pay the bills.  Dave’s college education is very successfully underway and courtesy of the U.S. military/government, and our cars are running.

And our house is full of love.  Lots of love.

So while I may want to have a child with Dave, I don’t need anything.  I am blessed with everything I need to live a happy, peaceful life.  For that I must remember to thank God each and every day.  He will give us what we need, when the time is right.

“Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.” ~Psalm 37:7

Thing 1 and Thing 2

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From time to time I’ve been asked why I refer to our boys as Thing 1 and Thing 2 on my blog or on Facebook.  While at first it was to protect the boys from the social media stalkers of the world, the reasons go a little bit deeper:

1.  Yes, the base is to protect them from the social media stalkers and potential kidnappers who could possibly harm them.  Do I have a real concern of this happening to them?  No.  However should someone try, it will be harder to lure one of my boys to the car by calling them “Thing 1” or “Thing 2” rather than his real name.  We have taught them about Stranger Danger, however who knows what would happen if presented with a bag of their favorite treats.  These two are too priceless to take the chance.

Things 1 and 2 with Coolest Dad Ever

2.  I share my birthday with Dr. Seuss.  While it would be easy to ignore this, I LOVE Dr. Seuss and will draw influence from him wherever possible.

Thing 1 and Thing 2. Buy your copy of Cat in the Hat at Amazon.com!

3.  Calling the boys Thing 1 and Thing 2 allows me that extra half-second to remember their real names.  Yes, I only have two boys.  But once in a while I still stumble over who I’m talking to or about.  Thus, I allow myself that Thing… 1 moment!

4.  The boys, although complete sweethearts, can trash our house in less than an hour.  They can get home from school to a clean house, and within a half hour we can find homework strewn across the kitchen, game controller cords laced across the living room like a laser maze, and coats and shoes thrown on the floor as if their attempt to a make a fort out of them collapsed.  That’s not to mention the clothes they leave on the floor in their bedroom and bathroom, the dirty dishes they leave on the table as if we have a waitress, and their speedy movement (Thing 2) or mouths (both).

5.  They can aggravate the heck out of us, but we still love them.

Flowers from My Husband

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I’m a very lucky woman.  At least once  a month, if not more, my husband sends me flowers.  They are always beautiful, get to me speedy fast, and are in all ways, PRICELESS.  That’s right, priceless.  They mean more to me than he knows, and they are absolutely free.

How am I so lucky?

Because I’m married to awesomeness, and when he sees beauty he sends it to me via text message.

Here are some of my favorite “A flower for you” messages I have received in the past year…

 

To my male readers…  Be warned.  You have no excuse for not sending your lady flowers.  The next time you see a pretty one, do as my husband does…  Take out your cell phone (I know you have one) and snap a picture.  You’ll be off the hook in both the flower and sweet text message for at least a day, and you’ll have sent her a flower that her cat won’t be able to mangle when you’re not looking.

Thankful Thursday: July 12, 2012

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Here are a few (of the many) things I am thankful for today…

  1. Besides allergies, my little family is healthy.
  2. Dave is enjoying his classes, and in my opinion is doing exceptionally well.
  3. I have a Senior Manager in my office who was willing to give me 5 minutes of time and his suggestions about how to get hired full-time (and permanently) within the company.
  4. We have money in the bank.
  5. Both cars continue to run, despite the issues that both are having.
  6. I work with people who make smile and laugh all work-day long.
  7. I am married to a wonderful man who makes my heart smile 24/7.
  8. The bills are getting caught up, slowly, one-at-a-time.
  9. It’s been sunny for weeks.  Yes, it’s been hot, but at least it’s not dreary and depressing.
  10. I have friends and family who love and respect me.

My Latest Theme Song

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I heard a great song when I was listening to slacker.com at work today and right away had to share it with Dave.  (I’ll share it with you in just a second.)  While it seemed like it written especially for me to share with him, I related to it just that just more because of the line:

Everyday a million things cluttering up my mind

Let me share the song with you, and then I’ll write more…

What Means the Most – Colbie Caillat

Colbie Caillat – What means the most from Miss Whatever on Vimeo.

OK, so back to a million things cluttering up my mind…

I have so much on my mind lately.  My brain never ceases to tease me with a bunch of “what ifs?’ and to-do items.  My to-do list feels as though it’s a million miles long, and by the time I get home from work I really don’t feel like working on any of them.  My brain is exhausted from thinking all day and I just want to veg out.  Unfortunately that’s not how I work.  Here are a few of my many thoughts…

  • How many words can I write in my book tonight?  Yes, I finally started writing a book about a month ago.  I have the general story line worked out in my head, but how to get from here to there is puzzling to me.  I’m about 3,500 words in, and from what I’ve gathered on the internet, an average size chick-lit starts at 60,000 words.  So, yea.  I’m struggling.
  • I have an idea for another non-fiction book, however I believe it would be best written under a pseudonym.  While my family and loved ones will know it’s out there, I’d rather that a big part of my past doesn’t.  I think the fear of its discovery has kept me from starting to write it.
  • How do I get hired permanently by my employer?  I’m working my butt off, as I have for the past 14 months, and would like to be a permanent associate.
  • Do I want to pursue another degree and open my job opportunities up tremendously?  I’ve been applying for jobs at a local (great) university in hopes that I will be hired there and be able to pursue another degree for free.  (Yes, they pay for employees to take up to a certain number of classes for no-cost besides books).  My only dilemma is that I have no idea what field I would want to pursue degree wise at that university.  I want to be creative and not pursue a field just because I could make more money in that field.  I just wish I knew what creative field I wanted to go into.
  • What do we need to do and how do we do what we need to do to buy a house?  Plainly said, we’re paying too much rent for what we’re getting, but other apartments in the area are even more expensive than ours.  However, we could buy a decent sized house and pay the same as we are now.  Unfortunately I’ve heard that a temporary job (even if it’s 14 months long so far) doesn’t get viewed as a “real” job by mortgage lenders, and my credit score is…  less than favorable.  I know I need to work on the credit score, however the job situation takes me back up to “How to get hired permanently
  • Four short years ago I got paid double what I do now and was tremendously unhappy…  And broke.  I was living off credit cards, unable to pay their bills, and paying thousands of dollars of year in bank fees due to interest and a constantly overdrawn bank account.  Now, we still live paycheck-to-paycheck, however I have learned to budget.  No, not all bills get paid every month.  But rather than pay tons of money in bank fees, we’ll deal with phone calls reminding us that our payment is late…  again…  But I’m happy.  We’re happy.  TREMENDOUSLY HAPPY!

Things I Love Thursday, April 26, 2012

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I saw this on another blog and I had to do one myself…

Things I Love (especially this) Thursday

  • A quiet evening at home with hubby
  • Having the boys for the weekend
  • Seeing hubby learn and understand new things in school everyday
  • Posting THREE blog posts in one day!
  • Knowing tomorrow is Friday
  • Having a job I like, even if I wish I were paid more
  • Knowing God is with me, through thick and thin
  • Playing Rift with hubby after a long day
  • A glass of wine, poured by hubby (cough cough, the beer is next to me, only two sips drank out of it)
  • Staying up late with hubby, even though I’ll be tired tomorrow
  • My Kindle Fire, loaded with awesome books
  • Dave (aka hubby) caring enough about me to be interested in what I blog about
  • Sharing my blog, my heart and my soul with Dave
  • Epic Rap Battles of History on You Tube (especially Mr. T vs. Mr. Rogers)
  • Coming in 200 calories below my daily calorie recommendation on myfitnesspal.com
  • Hearing Dave laugh
  • Being happy
  • Being alive