Category Archives: Family

TWINS?!

Standard

Wow…

Wow, wow, WOW. A week later, and I’m still reeling in the shock. Little Nevaeh is going to be a big sister in 7 months… or less. And not just that, but she will be a big sister to TWINS!

We’ve all heard that God won’t give us more than we can handle, but He sure does have a sense of humor! Nevaeh will be about 16 months when the twins are born. Just shy of 10 months she took her first steps this week, and Momma (me) has taken a few sprints for the bathroom due to morning sickness. Well, let me be honest here. It’s not morning sickness. It’s all-freaking-day-sickness.

Almost all my once favorite smells and snacks are having adverse reactions on me. The delicious smell of my husband’s after-shave lotion is… No longer my favorite. And “The best part of waking up…” is no longer the smell of Folgers in my cup. To put it gently, if I could walk around the kitchen to get to the office I would.

Our clients have been INCREDIBLE. I did not want to say anything to anybody about the pregnancy until we were further along, however I/we knew we had to say something considering how nauseous I have been. Continually telling the clients, “I’m not feeling good” wouldn’t have instilled confidence in my skills. And just as it has been in Dave and my marriage, honesty with our clients has been 100% beneficial.

Dave has been amazing, as he always has been. Some days I fear a lonely wife will kidnap him in order to have the dream I have. I was wondering last night (again), if we could go back four years and tell our former selves what is happening in our present day lives, what would our past selves do? Getting married to each other and having A baby wouldn’t have scared them… I don’t think. Having twins? I don’t know.

The boys are excited(?) about the twins, however Robert keeps asking “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

How can I answer him? I’m not going to lie and say, “Yes!” but at the same time I’m not going to say, “No.” either. God has our back, and even if I’m not currently prepared I know I will handle, WE will handle, whatever comes our way.

Honestly, I think Robert is most excited that we are inevitably going to have to buy a bigger vehicle. Telling him and Jacob that we were going to strap two seats to the top of our Chevy Cobalt didn’t go over too well. On that note…

Dear Honda – please let us know if you have a special program for parents interested in an Odyssey or Pilot. We’ll need ALL 8 seats. Thank you!

Advertisements

It’s All About Perspective

Standard

MTHFR.  No, I’m not trying to curse, although I’ll admit that mother ****er has slipped from my mouth on more than one occasion.

MTHFR, unheard of by me until a week and a half ago now takes on a new, unpronouncable meaning:  Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase.  I have it.

At the end of July Dave and I found out we were pregnant again.  After having our first two pregnancies end in miscarriage earlier this year, we chose to keep this one relatively quiet.  Weeks of all-day morning sickness passed, and in mid-August we were able to see a very small baby at our first ultrasound.  We were elated!  This was more than we had ever seen with the other two, and although they couldn’t hear the heartbeat (the technician said it was too early) we had scheduled another ultrasound for two weeks later.

Unfortunately, God had other plans for us again.  Within a week of the ultrasound I started spotting, and on September 4, we had our third miscarriage at 12 weeks.

Dave and I were exhausted.  We are blessed to each already have children whom we love with everything we’ve got.  With that said, however, we would love to have a child together, a child who can bask in our love and enjoy a life where mom and dad love each other and will share the rest of their lives with each other.  No split custody, no hard decisions to make on holidays, no absentee parent.  We decided to give our emotions and my body a break and cease trying for a bit, however before my doctor would put me on birth control he wanted to run blood tests to see if there was a root cause for the miscarriages.

So, three weeks ago I had 24 vials of blood taken.  24.  And the results came in positive except for one test which showed I have the MTHFR gene mutation.  I looked it up on the internet (and honestly still don’t totally understand what I’m reading), and basically it means that my body isn’t absorbing folate.  With folic acid so crucially important to a developing fetus, this isn’t good.

This Monday Dave and I went to my hematologist appointment.  For me especially, the time waiting in the reception area shared by oncology put everything in perspective.  Here we were, fretting over why we couldn’t keep a pregnancy, and we were surrounded by patients in all stages of cancer treatment.  Bandanas covered their heads, sores  were hidden by bandages, and the wear and tear of chemo was written all over so many of their faces.  I felt suddenly…  Fortunate…

While we may not be getting what we want, Dave and I aren’t being dealt what we don’t want.  We’re healthy.  Our children are healthy.  We’ve got a roof over our heads, food in our cabinets, and a job to pay the bills.  Dave’s college education is very successfully underway and courtesy of the U.S. military/government, and our cars are running.

And our house is full of love.  Lots of love.

So while I may want to have a child with Dave, I don’t need anything.  I am blessed with everything I need to live a happy, peaceful life.  For that I must remember to thank God each and every day.  He will give us what we need, when the time is right.

“Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.” ~Psalm 37:7

Thing 1 and Thing 2

Standard

From time to time I’ve been asked why I refer to our boys as Thing 1 and Thing 2 on my blog or on Facebook.  While at first it was to protect the boys from the social media stalkers of the world, the reasons go a little bit deeper:

1.  Yes, the base is to protect them from the social media stalkers and potential kidnappers who could possibly harm them.  Do I have a real concern of this happening to them?  No.  However should someone try, it will be harder to lure one of my boys to the car by calling them “Thing 1” or “Thing 2” rather than his real name.  We have taught them about Stranger Danger, however who knows what would happen if presented with a bag of their favorite treats.  These two are too priceless to take the chance.

Things 1 and 2 with Coolest Dad Ever

2.  I share my birthday with Dr. Seuss.  While it would be easy to ignore this, I LOVE Dr. Seuss and will draw influence from him wherever possible.

Thing 1 and Thing 2. Buy your copy of Cat in the Hat at Amazon.com!

3.  Calling the boys Thing 1 and Thing 2 allows me that extra half-second to remember their real names.  Yes, I only have two boys.  But once in a while I still stumble over who I’m talking to or about.  Thus, I allow myself that Thing… 1 moment!

4.  The boys, although complete sweethearts, can trash our house in less than an hour.  They can get home from school to a clean house, and within a half hour we can find homework strewn across the kitchen, game controller cords laced across the living room like a laser maze, and coats and shoes thrown on the floor as if their attempt to a make a fort out of them collapsed.  That’s not to mention the clothes they leave on the floor in their bedroom and bathroom, the dirty dishes they leave on the table as if we have a waitress, and their speedy movement (Thing 2) or mouths (both).

5.  They can aggravate the heck out of us, but we still love them.

Are We in the 47 Percent?

Standard

I normally ignore politics.  I followed the Obama campaign four years ago because I thought he would be good for America, but ever since then, my following has been just about non-existant.  Well, until the last couple weeks that is.

Dave and I have been working on a couple (BIG) projects and in effort to get our name out I’ve been working on developing a presence in social media.  Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Twitter, we’re on them all.  Twitter has been my primary concentration, however, because I’m realizing that in order to build a presence over there, you have to be consistently active.  As such, Twitter has become my news source.

Although not always the most reliable source for the latest news story, I was looking through the posts of those I follow when the video of Romney and his 47 Percent leaked.  Having just come back from laughing my butt off when hearing his interpretation of “middle class” income, my jaw dropped.  I HAD to watch the video.

In case you missed it, you can either click above or read what he said:

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax.

Again, my jaw dropped.

When I left my ex-husband, I was unemployed.  Feeling it was necessary to get my sons and I into a safer environment, I looked to the state for public assistance.  Did I expect help?  No.  But I was EXTREMELY appreciative when I received it.

In order to qualify for Ohio’s Cash Assistance program, I needed to be actively looking for a job or be employed.  Let me preface this by saying that it was not my choice to be unemployed.  I am a college graduate with my bachelor’s in interior architecture.  I am an artist, or at least I would like to believe I am.  Two years prior to leaving my ex I lost my job.  While I tried to secure another job in the industry, finding an interior design job in the midwest was, and still is, like finding a needle in a haystack.  I applied at gas stations, fast food restaurants and local stores.  For TWO years I applied to all of these places just so I could contribute to my household.  The response I got was always somewhere along the line of, “You’re overqualified,” or “We don’t want to put time into training you when you’re just going to move on to something better.”

Finding a job after moving out turned out to be a whole lot of luck.  I was in the right place at the right time with the right person, when I secured my first job in more than two years.  But I didn’t get a job because somebody was telling me to.  I was doing it because that’s what I needed to do for the boys and I.  I didn’t believe anybody owed my a job.  I simply hoped somebody would give me a chance.

Every Friday morning, recipients of the cash assistance program were required (I’m not receiving the assistance anymore so I don’t know if it’s still the same) to attend an open interview session at our local job office.  Upon hearing about this I was excited.  I thought it would be my chance to get a job.  I was wrong.  Walking into the office, I was visably one of the very few attendees who cared about getting a job and getting off the program.  First, I had bathed.  My hair and teeth were brushed.  And I had worn a suit.  Looking around, I was surrounded by unkempt people wearing pajamas and sweat pants who looked as though they hadn’t showered all week.  I was flabbergasted.

But it got worse.  The employers, knowing this is how people were approaching the mandatory open interviews, had stopped attending.  There was ONE employer there, a gas station, and they were looking for somebody to work third shift.  As badly as I needed a job, I couldn’t work third shift with the boys.

I’m digressing, so I’ll get back to my point…

I work full-time now and Dave is in college full-time.  The cash assistance and food stamps are long expired, and yes, we struggle.  But no, we don’t believe the government “owes” us.  I don’t EXPECT them to give me housing, healthcare and education.  I didn’t even apply for housing assistance when I left my ex.  What I do expect, however, is that all Americans be given the same opportunities for equal care.

I have been employed by the same company for the last 17 months and have been a great employee.  I get my job done and don’t create drama at the office.  I get paid every week and pay for health insurance out of my paycheck.  I repeat, I pay for health insurance.  With that said, paying for health insurance doesn’t provide me with the same benefits as somebody receiving public assistance.  Example: Dave and I found out we miscarried earlier this year and I had a D&C shortly thereafter.  A month later the bill came in the mail.  We owed $8500.  Out of the $9000 bill, our insurance had covered approximately $500.  Does this sound right to you?

When I had the boys 7 and 10 years ago, the entire pre- and post- natal bills for each boy equaled $500.  This included monthly-turned-weekly check-ups as well as delivery and the hospital stay.  For the youngest, it also included an extra week in the hospital for me when he tried to come two months early.

Following our miscarriage earlier this year, Dave and I had two more (miscarriages).  During the third pregnancy, I found out that women who met specific (low) income guidelines could apply for pregnancy health care through the state.  While I didn’t want to apply, I did.  With a bill of $8500 from an out-patient procedure, it scared us to think what the labor and delivery would cost.  Would we be shelling out the cost of a full-year college tuition to welcome this miracle into our life?  Bah!  When I started miscarrying the third time, however, the fear of cost played into my health decisions.  I went through three days of excrutiating pain and dizziness before finally going to the ER.  That bill has yet to come, and I’m sure it’s not going to be pretty.

I can’t say who I’m going to vote for, however I can say that I don’t like being generalized.  Dave and I DO take personal accountability and responsibility for our lives.  Can we always pay the bills we have?  No.  But we’re not applying for assistance we don’t need.

Impromptu Mid-Day Vacation

Standard

At the end of the school year/beginning of summer, the boys’ daycare sent home a stack of field trip forms for us to sign.  Ranging from (multiple) visits to a nearby nursing home or the local Lowe’s to build a birdhouse, Dave and my interest was peaked by a field trip to Ohio Caverns.  Right away we knew Thing 2 would LOVE it, as he collects rocks and is very curious about what he can do when he grows up that involves rocks.  My mind gets excited thinking about the corners of the world he’ll be able to see if he pursues geography, archeology or any other fields that I’m not smart enough to know about.

Right away Dave expressed interest in accompanying the boys on their Ohio Caverns field trip, as the form clearly stated parents were invited.  Despite being radically right brained, I, too was interested, however the thought of not getting paid for half a day made me squash the thought of me going really fast.  As time went on, Dave finished his second session at school and entered his third (which he is currently in) and got bogged down with a LOT of school-work.  I’m proud of him for his dedication as well as the awesome art he is producing.  Anyway, his work-load made it doubtful that he would be able to go.

I was sitting at my desk around 8am yesterday morning, thinking about how the boys were about to go on their field trip.  I stared at my Excel spreadsheet and out of nowhere got hit with a F*** this smack.  It was as if I was taken over by the slacker sitting on my right shoulder.  After a quick (pleasant) conversation with my boss I was given permission to take a half-day, mid-day, vacation and accompany the boys.  I called Dave, told him we’re going because I’d rather spend the day with my gentlemen than think about how I should’ve later, and left work.

As written on the Ohio Caverns website,

Concealed beneath the rolling farmland and wooded countryside of Champaign County, Ohio, the caverns were formed thousands of years ago when an underground river cut through ancient limestone and created vast rooms and passageways that later filled with countless crystal stalactites, stalagmites and other amazing formations.

You can read more about the history on their website, as I want to share some of my pictures…

Ohio Caverns - 2
Ohio Caverns - 3

Thankful Thursday: July 12, 2012

Standard

Here are a few (of the many) things I am thankful for today…

  1. Besides allergies, my little family is healthy.
  2. Dave is enjoying his classes, and in my opinion is doing exceptionally well.
  3. I have a Senior Manager in my office who was willing to give me 5 minutes of time and his suggestions about how to get hired full-time (and permanently) within the company.
  4. We have money in the bank.
  5. Both cars continue to run, despite the issues that both are having.
  6. I work with people who make smile and laugh all work-day long.
  7. I am married to a wonderful man who makes my heart smile 24/7.
  8. The bills are getting caught up, slowly, one-at-a-time.
  9. It’s been sunny for weeks.  Yes, it’s been hot, but at least it’s not dreary and depressing.
  10. I have friends and family who love and respect me.