Category Archives: Faith/Religion

TWINS?!

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Wow…

Wow, wow, WOW. A week later, and I’m still reeling in the shock. Little Nevaeh is going to be a big sister in 7 months… or less. And not just that, but she will be a big sister to TWINS!

We’ve all heard that God won’t give us more than we can handle, but He sure does have a sense of humor! Nevaeh will be about 16 months when the twins are born. Just shy of 10 months she took her first steps this week, and Momma (me) has taken a few sprints for the bathroom due to morning sickness. Well, let me be honest here. It’s not morning sickness. It’s all-freaking-day-sickness.

Almost all my once favorite smells and snacks are having adverse reactions on me. The delicious smell of my husband’s after-shave lotion is… No longer my favorite. And “The best part of waking up…” is no longer the smell of Folgers in my cup. To put it gently, if I could walk around the kitchen to get to the office I would.

Our clients have been INCREDIBLE. I did not want to say anything to anybody about the pregnancy until we were further along, however I/we knew we had to say something considering how nauseous I have been. Continually telling the clients, “I’m not feeling good” wouldn’t have instilled confidence in my skills. And just as it has been in Dave and my marriage, honesty with our clients has been 100% beneficial.

Dave has been amazing, as he always has been. Some days I fear a lonely wife will kidnap him in order to have the dream I have. I was wondering last night (again), if we could go back four years and tell our former selves what is happening in our present day lives, what would our past selves do? Getting married to each other and having A baby wouldn’t have scared them… I don’t think. Having twins? I don’t know.

The boys are excited(?) about the twins, however Robert keeps asking “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

How can I answer him? I’m not going to lie and say, “Yes!” but at the same time I’m not going to say, “No.” either. God has our back, and even if I’m not currently prepared I know I will handle, WE will handle, whatever comes our way.

Honestly, I think Robert is most excited that we are inevitably going to have to buy a bigger vehicle. Telling him and Jacob that we were going to strap two seats to the top of our Chevy Cobalt didn’t go over too well. On that note…

Dear Honda – please let us know if you have a special program for parents interested in an Odyssey or Pilot. We’ll need ALL 8 seats. Thank you!

It’s All About Perspective

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MTHFR.  No, I’m not trying to curse, although I’ll admit that mother ****er has slipped from my mouth on more than one occasion.

MTHFR, unheard of by me until a week and a half ago now takes on a new, unpronouncable meaning:  Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase.  I have it.

At the end of July Dave and I found out we were pregnant again.  After having our first two pregnancies end in miscarriage earlier this year, we chose to keep this one relatively quiet.  Weeks of all-day morning sickness passed, and in mid-August we were able to see a very small baby at our first ultrasound.  We were elated!  This was more than we had ever seen with the other two, and although they couldn’t hear the heartbeat (the technician said it was too early) we had scheduled another ultrasound for two weeks later.

Unfortunately, God had other plans for us again.  Within a week of the ultrasound I started spotting, and on September 4, we had our third miscarriage at 12 weeks.

Dave and I were exhausted.  We are blessed to each already have children whom we love with everything we’ve got.  With that said, however, we would love to have a child together, a child who can bask in our love and enjoy a life where mom and dad love each other and will share the rest of their lives with each other.  No split custody, no hard decisions to make on holidays, no absentee parent.  We decided to give our emotions and my body a break and cease trying for a bit, however before my doctor would put me on birth control he wanted to run blood tests to see if there was a root cause for the miscarriages.

So, three weeks ago I had 24 vials of blood taken.  24.  And the results came in positive except for one test which showed I have the MTHFR gene mutation.  I looked it up on the internet (and honestly still don’t totally understand what I’m reading), and basically it means that my body isn’t absorbing folate.  With folic acid so crucially important to a developing fetus, this isn’t good.

This Monday Dave and I went to my hematologist appointment.  For me especially, the time waiting in the reception area shared by oncology put everything in perspective.  Here we were, fretting over why we couldn’t keep a pregnancy, and we were surrounded by patients in all stages of cancer treatment.  Bandanas covered their heads, sores  were hidden by bandages, and the wear and tear of chemo was written all over so many of their faces.  I felt suddenly…  Fortunate…

While we may not be getting what we want, Dave and I aren’t being dealt what we don’t want.  We’re healthy.  Our children are healthy.  We’ve got a roof over our heads, food in our cabinets, and a job to pay the bills.  Dave’s college education is very successfully underway and courtesy of the U.S. military/government, and our cars are running.

And our house is full of love.  Lots of love.

So while I may want to have a child with Dave, I don’t need anything.  I am blessed with everything I need to live a happy, peaceful life.  For that I must remember to thank God each and every day.  He will give us what we need, when the time is right.

“Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.” ~Psalm 37:7

Making Happiness Your Reality

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It’s a beautiful morning.  The sun is shining, and the birds are driving our cats crazy by perching themselves on the sunflowers right outside our front window.  But despite the thumps I keep hearing on the window as the cats try to earn an extra breakfast, all I can do is smile.

Life is good.

We’ve had our ups and downs.  We’ve had our “worse”, “poorer” and “sickness.”  But through everything, I’m in a place in my life where I don’t need to change a thing to be happy.  I AM.

Are you?

I find it interesting and discouraging when I speak to people who seem to want to be unhappy.  Even when things aren’t going our way, we answer “Great!” when asked, “How are you?”

How do you answer that question?  If you’re more of a half-empty person, I ask you to consider this…  When your day starts off bad, does it usually get worse?  If so, have you ever evaluated how much time you spend focusing on your problems, rather than focusing on what’s going good in your life?  Believe it or not, there IS good in your life.  Consider this: If you’re able to read my blog, you are able to read.  You have a computer or electronic device that allows you to connect to the internet.  You are alive.

If you are a more-than-half-full person, I’m proud of you.  Keep smiling.  Brighten somebody else’s day by saying “Good morning!” or by simply smiling at them as they pass you.  Believe it or not, that smile really could be the ticket to making their day just a little bit better.

Sitting at work a few months back, I realized there was a man in my office who I had never seen smile.  I decided right then that I WAS going to get a smile out of him, and I started greeting him with a smile and a “Hi!” every time we passed.  You know what?!  It worked!  Every time we pass now, I not only get a smile, but I receive a “Hi Kim!”  And my heart glows.  I didn’t give up.

If you struggle with maintaining a positive attitude, I encourage you to look up the following websites:

Abraham-Hicks

The Secret

It doesn’t matter what your religion or belief system is.  You can be happy.  But rather than waiting for somebody else or a particular situation to make you happy, you have the responsibility to make yourself happy.

So do it.  And remember:

You are a creator of thoughtways on your unique path of joy.  ~Abraham-Hicks

Emotional Fleas

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I’m itchy this morning.  Seriously.  My neck, arms, face and chest are itching, and where I’m sitting there is no appropriate way to scratch it away without looking like the the crack-head character on The Chappelle Show. (itch)

My itching isn’t skin irritation, however.  It’s not an allergic reaction, Poison Ivy or Poison Oak either.  It’s emotional fleas, I’m sure of it.  (itch)

Emotional fleas are those people in my life who crawl under my skin and do their best to be a nuisance every second of my life.  (itch) Their sole mission is to remind me that yes, they are still in my life no matter how little I want them there.  Unfortunately Dave and I both have our own BIG, individual, emotional fleas in the form of exes, and they (the fleas) both decided to raid our peaceful nest at 7am this morning. (itch)

As much as we both wish we had never met our EF’s, we have to thank God for putting them in our lives, for without them we would never have met each other.  And without mine, I wouldn’t have two wonderful sons that I love with all my heart. 

I continue to struggle, however, with holding my tongue when he sends a barrage of harassing text messages and emails.  I want so badly to tell him exactly what I’m thinking.  However, the Jesus said, “The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” ~Mark 12:31  But oh, I am human.  And ohhhh, how I struggle with this.

Mixed Excitement

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I have the tendency to get excited by the littlest hint that better opportunities may be coming.  And it’s happening again.  I work as a temporary employee for an extremely well-known international corporation in my town.  I love the people I work with/for, and I’m good, if not great at my job.  However, the pay is lacking.  With student loans, rent, car payment and insurance, utilities, food, gas, etc. to pay for, there’s nothing left at the end of the month.  But…

“So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.” ~1 Timothy 6:8

And Dave and I try to be content.  We really try.  We get excited when we’re able to make a delicious meal out of ingredients already in the house.  Would a $10 trip to Kroger kill us?  No.  However, $10 saved is…  $10 saved, haha.

Anyway…

I’ve interviewed for no less than 5 full-time, permanent positions with the company I work for.  Unfortunately, with a number of graduating college students, other temporary employees, and an entire outside job-applicant pool, I’ve struck out on each one.  At my post-interview reviews, I was always told, “We thought it was a great interview, you just didn’t show enough company name examples in your experience questions.”  I would always reply, “I won’t give up!  You’ll see me again!”  And they did.

Two days after the miscarriage/D&C, and two days before our wedding, I trudged into the office, on my day off, to interview for another two open positions.  I felt I did good, however with the pain I was in I just wanted to come in, interview, and go back home to bed.

Yesterday, over a month later, I received a follow-up email from corporate HR, which is located across the country.  They want references and a salary expectation.  Is it acceptable for me to get excited?

On a side note, my work load is VERY full.  My planner is filled with items needing to be completed, and I get frustrated when, at the end of the day, I’ve checked only one or two off.  It’s not that I’m not working, however, that keeps me from completing items.  It’s my boss with a seemingly endless box full of random supposedly-“small”-tasks specifically meant for me.  While analyzing how I can achieve more checks in my planner each day, I realized that if anyone gets me started I can be quite a chatterbox.  To keep on track, I put a spot in my planner to keep track of my chat breaks.  Since then, I’ve also been listening to my headphones (slacker.com), which also deters my chatty co-workers from distracting me.  My chat sessions have DRASTICALLY decreased.  Yesterday, for example, I had none. 

A closing thought…

“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” ~Colossians 3:23

Things I Love Thursday, April 26, 2012

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I saw this on another blog and I had to do one myself…

Things I Love (especially this) Thursday

  • A quiet evening at home with hubby
  • Having the boys for the weekend
  • Seeing hubby learn and understand new things in school everyday
  • Posting THREE blog posts in one day!
  • Knowing tomorrow is Friday
  • Having a job I like, even if I wish I were paid more
  • Knowing God is with me, through thick and thin
  • Playing Rift with hubby after a long day
  • A glass of wine, poured by hubby (cough cough, the beer is next to me, only two sips drank out of it)
  • Staying up late with hubby, even though I’ll be tired tomorrow
  • My Kindle Fire, loaded with awesome books
  • Dave (aka hubby) caring enough about me to be interested in what I blog about
  • Sharing my blog, my heart and my soul with Dave
  • Epic Rap Battles of History on You Tube (especially Mr. T vs. Mr. Rogers)
  • Coming in 200 calories below my daily calorie recommendation on myfitnesspal.com
  • Hearing Dave laugh
  • Being happy
  • Being alive

Trying to Create with a Brain Freeze

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I wish I could say my brain freeze was due to a Slushy or Cherry Limeade. Unfortunately the “diet” I started yesterday through myfitnesspal.com only allows for 1200 calories per day.

Perhaps, my brain, like the rest of my life, is stretched thin.

My computer at work needed to be worked on this afternoon, and after straightening up my desk, I found myself with nothing to do. This is a rare event. In fact, it hadn’t happened since I started there a year ago. So,  I tried to come up with ideas for a fiction book.

Yea. That didn’t work so well. Everytime I try to write I wind up back in the non-fiction category. And I’m not sure I’m ready to write about what I want to write about. (That’s all I’ll say considering I DO want to write it…  Someday)

I long to be creative, however I have absolutely no idea what I want to do or how to get my creative juices flowing. Oh!   I put a beer in the freezers and forgot about it. Perhaps beer will help.

No, I’m not a regular drinker, nor do I put my faith in alcohol to solve any problem.  I have God for all things, good AND bad.   With that said, perhaps now is the time to pull up my Bible on my Kindle and look for inspiration.